One of the most frequent questions that I am asked in my group coaching, workshops and talks is this: Why can’t I grow my business or career – I’m stuck!
Rather than try to give an answer for the individual I ask everyone to do this quick exercise to find out what’s happening.
Every time people do this they discover the key piece that is missing from the puzzle.
This literally takes 3 minutes.
One Rule: Be honest to yourself and Dont read the Correct Answer until you have answered the question
- Get a pen and paper
- Look at the island at the top of this post. You have given permission for me to take you to this island. Let me tell you a little about the island. It’s warm and sunny with the perfect temperature for you. The sun’s out, there are no animals on the island, it’s a very non-threatening place. If you could imagine a place that you could want to go to, this is where you would want to go. That’s the island.
- You’ve given me permission for me to take you there.
- Now, there are some rules about going.
- I promise to bring you back in 15 minutes, so don’t get nervous about being left on the island.
- I would like you to leave your religious beliefs behind. Not that those beliefs are not important or that they add value but for the purpose of the exercise I would like you to put those beliefs to the side for one moment.
- I would like you to go to that island and I would like you to sit down on the sand with the waves just in front of you lapping at the shore.
Here’s the question:
- I would like you to leave all of your roles in life behind. Leave them with me for 15 minutes. This means that you are no longer a father, mother, son, daughter, brother or sister. You are no longer a person who is employed, managed, directed or has any responsibilities. You are not a person who has achievements or accolades. And remember you can have them back in 15 minutes.
- And while you are on the island, sitting there by yourself I want you to rate what is left. In other words, what is left as you are alone on the island without your roles to define you.
- I’d like you to take a look at yourself and put a rating on a 0 to 10 scale. 0 being without your roles in life you are completely worthless and 10 being without your roles in life you are of great value and there is the scale inbetween. When you have that number write it down.
The Correct Answer:
Everyone is a 10
If you put anything less than 10 what’s happened is, is that you have been programmed, conditioned and influenced by the world to believe that you are less than 10.
What you rated just now was your own self identity and self esteem. All that was left on the island once all your roles are gone. So many of us believe that our value is the roles that we have in life. But the point is this, you came in without any roles and your leaving without any.
Why is this important to you?
The number that you have written down determines the rest of your future business, career and happiness. Big claim right?
How can you use this?
Let’s say you wrote down a number of 5 and you are hoping to progress to a job that is, from your perspective, a 7. All the time you are preparing for it the 5 in you will be saying “you’re trying to be something you’re not” or “you could never do that job” or “you’re not worth that much money” or something else.
Conversely, if you rated yourself as an 8 and are in a job that you perceive as a 5 then you are coasting, and if you are not already, you are probably bored.
This affects you in looking for new jobs or your business also. If Mavis the cleaner loses her job she will probably go and look for another cleaning job, if Donald Trump lost all his millions he would be working to get back to that level as soon as possible.
It’s all a matter of understanding what your self identity is as a starting point, where you want to get to and then developing and implementing a strategy to take you there.
The ideal: You rate yourself as a 10 and you see the job that you are doing as a 10.
It is incredibly rewarding when you make these breakthroughs and I hope this post has helped you towards it.